StillMa

I had an unusual web experience last night involving a Tarboro neighbor and I wonder what message the universe was trying to tell me if any message at all.

I had been lax at posting to this blog for a few weeks. Several times I made an attempt to write but the subject matter was lame and I knew that I was merely creating filler for a blank mind period I was going through. (We'll talk more later about the good in mind blanking.. remind me).

In any case, last night I logged in and checked the site stats to see how many visitors I'd had and where they had come to visit from.  On one of the pie charts used to show me the abundance of information was a tiny little slice labeled as  "brian lampkin" Google query.    Brian Lampkin?  I know him, or I should say I know who he is, he lives here in Tarboro, we've even had the occasion to speak a few times, but I haven't a clue how a Google search for "brian lampkin" would bring anyone to this journal.

Curious one that I am, never to leave a question unanswered, I went directly to Google and did my own search for 'brian lampkin'. There were 108 entries and not one brought me to this site.  Hmm, curiouser and curiouser.

I took a peek at a couple of the entries. He used to live in Buffalo, owned a book store, wrote lyrics to songs that his friends played and sang.  I listened to a few of the songs on a myspace page.  The music was good. The lyrics were good. The songs were good.  I thought, "I'll have to mention this to Brian when I see him next".

Then I visited Brian's blog ,  sleeping not through but with sirens , the last entry was written over a month ago and it involved 'death'.  Death of a loved one. Brian's writing is good and the words he said touched me. I felt a desire to comment on his thoughts and perhaps say something comforting regarding the subject that had obviously given him some pain.  I wanted to write, but I didn't.  I didn't because I suddenly felt embarassed for intruding on his life.  Here was this person that I barely knew.  I had Googled his name, read his blog, read the comments left by his friends.  Like a Peeping Tonya, without him even being slightly aware, I had peeked into bits of his world into which I had not been invited.  If I left a comment, I'd have to explain or he'd be left wondering why I had visited his blog in the first place.  Could I simply explain the Google Query listed on my blog stats? Would explaining it make me seem more bizarre and perhaps even 'creepy'?  I felt it best to slip away silently and leave the boy in peace.

So now, understanding how search engines work, there is a good possibility that sometime in the future, some one who knows him will Google "brian lampkin" and this blog will appear.  They will read it and pass this strange story on to him.

If you speak to Brian, tell him I said "hello".